My Home Birth Story
Good support makes for such an amazing labour and birth.
I just want to start by saying that I went into this birth with much mental and physical preparation. I came into this experience with excitement, and knowledge knowing I could do this. I also had the best support system during my labour and birth.
On Tuesday 5th July, I had a slight bloody show in the morning and started having light contractions. I went into town with my friend and brought snacks for labour, as well as some KFC, which I was craving.
Tuesday evening at 8pm, I had my first proper, undeniable contraction! Whoop whoop! I was watching a movie with my husband Earl and said “Oh!! I definitely felt that one,” and said we should start timing. Earl was very excited.
Around 11pm we stopped watching TV and had a bit of a dance party in the living room. I proved I could still drop it low in heels at almost 42 weeks pregnant and we just laughed. We slow-danced to the song we had our first dance at our wedding to and kissed and talked about how excited we were.
At midnight we went to bed. LOL. I mean I lay down and realised that laying down was not fun at all, so after an hour or so of laying there not sleeping, I gave up and got up. I didn’t want to wake Earl as I wanted him well rested for when it got exciting but also didn’t want to be alone, so I called Georgia (my amazing sister in law) and she headed on out. I called my mum and she decided that she and my sister, Samantha, would come join as well as my mum’s labours had often progressed quickly once they picked up.
We just talked and laughed through the early morning. Around 4.30am we decided we would try a walk to speed things up, so Sam, Georgia and I headed out on a walk down the country road in the pitch black with misty rain coming down. We walked about 2km all up. To my disappointment, my contractions spread out and became less intense, as I was hoping they would have gotten closer together.
Once we returned home, I decided to try to sleep again. I had had two contractions when I got up, walked out and said to the girls “Absolutely not. I hate laying down” as the contractions seemed more painful when I was laying down.
At around 7.30am Earl joined the party and we decided to go for another walk, this time to find stairs I could go up and down sideways as that had helped Georgia’s labour kick off.
We couldn’t find any at the woolshed so we headed over to my landlord’s house and used hers.
Georgia was also doing acupressure to try to help the baby come down. Later, I climbed into the birthing pool for a little relief but it still didn’t pick up.
My mum suggested everyone gather and lay hands on me and lift me up in prayer and we asked God to either stall my labour enough that I could sleep, or ramp it up so we were getting somewhere.
I called my midwife and said it just wasn’t going anywhere and let her know what we had tried, including a bunch of positions I found on the internet to try to help the baby descend. She decided she would come over and have a check on him with the doppler and have a feel to see if she could tell how low he was. We didn’t do a cervical check as we had decided we only would do those once I was in established labour to minimise the checks. We then did a few positions to help the baby get into a better position to drop into my pelvis in hopes that would kick labour off.
Once she left, Georgia and my mum decided to head home for some rest in preparation for it to pick up later on. Earl, Sam and I went to bed and slept for 1.5-2 hours. I woke up to my contractions getting more intense, so I got up. They started coming regularly and stronger than earlier, so we started timing again.
Around 8pm I hit a low. I was exhausted. I had been in labour for 24 hours now with only a little sleep and I had no idea how much longer I had left to go. I started crying and said “I can’t do this.. I can’t,” and made a plan that if by 7am the next morning I hadn’t given birth we would go to the hospital for help. I then had a pep talk from my amazing sister in law Rosie, who reminded me of my goals and gave me encouragement saying I could do this and to breathe and relax.
Just that little encouragement was what I needed to change my mental state back to “I can do this. I will do this,” and each contraction I repeated to myself “I am amazing, I can do this, Jesus help me,” or “relaxxxx, breathe,” and low moans. Time just disappeared from there onwards and I didn’t feel overwhelmed at all again. Around 10pm it was definitely established labour and I decided to climb into the pool for relief, while my sister continued timing contractions.
I was having a contraction when a strong surge of nausea came over me and I said “bucket” but didn’t finish the word when I started vomiting, thankfully my sister has super hero reflexes and had the bucket in front of me before anything came out. I remember looking at my husband Earl and saying “this is so fun” then laughing between gags.
Sam was messaging my mum to keep her updated and my mum decided it was time to head back over. I called my midwife at 11pm to say it was definitely happening and I wanted her there, but we decided to wait one more hour as contractions still weren’t consistently 3 minutes apart. I remember asking multiple times if the hour was up yet during the next 60mins. By midnight I couldn’t even bring myself to speak so I asked Earl to ring my midwife and he told her they had gotten long and strong and consistent and that I really wanted her there.
Sam was keeping the pool temp to around 37/38 degrees by adding jugs of boiling water and removing some with a bucket when I requested. She was also spraying birth aid under my tongue every 10 minutes and helping with a cool cloth when I needed it.
When the midwife arrived around 12.35am, I was in the pool breathing/low moaning through contractions and then leaning back resting on the pillow in between. I was also eating green apple slices and sipping water when needed. I was so exhausted I would actually fall asleep and start twitching briefly between contractions.
Georgia arrived not long after to start taking photos and support me as well.
We discussed doing a cervical check at 1.30am but I would have to get out of the pool and lay down and I wasn’t ready to do that so we decided we would do it later.
At 2am my midwife asked if I would like to try some contractions on the toilet to speed things up. I was well aware how much toilet contractions were hard contractions so I said to her in a very sarcastic voice, “How about you do some toilet contractions Tessa?” which we all laughed at as I agreed it was in fact a good idea. However I still waited a few minutes. And then I looked at Georgia and whispered “Do you think she’s forgotten about the toilet?” and we both glanced at Tessa and giggled.
I finally managed to stand up and make my way to the toilet. I had one strong contraction in the doorway, during which I held onto Earl for support. Once I sat on the toilet I said to myself, “Ok, I will do 10 contractions here”. I held onto Earl while having contractions and then we kissed and laughed in between as well as I was breathing and relaxing.
The contractions seemed pretty bearable and not as bad as I was imagining and on the fourth contraction, at 2:30am, my waters broke. The next few were quite intense and we decided I should head to the bed for a cervical check to see how progress was going. Contractions were coming quickly at this point and when I layed down for the check I had the most intense one yet. I tell ya, laying down is NOT the go! Tessa checked me and said, “You’re ready to have a baby!” but I was in the middle of a contraction and missed what she had said before that, so I looked at Georgia and asked what she said. Georgia said, “There’s no cervix left.” Then the next contraction hit and I said, “I need to push,” and started moaning and automatically pushing. After that contraction settled, Earl and others helped me up and I waddled my way back to the pool holding onto earl. I climbed into the pool and dropped to my knees leaning over the side.
I asked my mum to pray that pushing would go well and quickly. She prayed a beautiful prayer and I felt so much peace. I was moaning and breathing through the contractions and using horse lips to help relax my perinium as well as to overcome the urge to just push push push. I did big, slow breaths as well, to slow myself down and allow my body to stretch.
Earl was rubbing my back and my hair and whispering encouragement. I heard others say things of encouragement but never quite took in who said what. After a few strong pushes, I felt my baby descend down into my pelvis, ready to come out. Then I said, “Allright, let’s take an hour break,” which made everyone laugh and my mum joked about putting the kettle on.
My midwife guided me when to slow down and allow myself to stretch and in between urges to push, I just rested and breathed and relaxed and said “I am huge” to remind myself my body can open up and make way for this beautiful baby.
His head and fist came out with the next contraction, then I rested, then after a minute or so Tessa said, “Big push and he will be with us,” and she helped guide him out while I pushed and she said, “Okay Rebekah, grab your baby.”
I reached down into the water and grabbed a hold of my completely perfect and desperately prayed for baby boy, Samuel Theodore Graham and placed him on my chest. He weighed 8lb 13oz and was born at 3:16am Thursday 7th July, 2022.
My first words were “I can’t believe I gave birth to this,” then I looked at my husband and said “We made a baby!” and he said “We sure did,” and then we kissed.
I felt so proud of myself, I only had a slight graze and birthed my placenta naturally on the toilet after an hour of skin to skin with Samuel.
I had a shower and settled onto the couch with my baby boy, my husband and the best bowl of noodles I had ever tasted.
It was the most perfect homebirth that I had dreamed of, and although the first 24 hours were long and tiring, it all worked out. I am loving every second of being a mum and I truly believe that my positive birth experience is half the reason why.
I want every woman to feel so empowered and proud of themselves after their birthing experiences, the way I did.
Words can’t express how much I loved being surrounded by the women I love, supporting me and my husband during this life changing and beautiful experience. I am so thankful to my mum, Georgia and Sam for being the best support women I could have asked for.
My Second Homebirth
It was a long, 35hr from first contraction to birth. She was there for at least 12 of those hours with her beautiful 5 week old son. I will forever cherish this video and cry each time I watch it as I remember just how tough this birth was.
Yes it was still a beautiful homebirth. But it was oh so long. I wasn’t expecting my second labour to be so slow. It was mentally and physically so challenging.
I am forever grateful for all the woman I had around me supporting me. Portia, Sophie, Georgia, Erika, mum, My two wonderful midwives who were also there for 12+ hours. Samuel my son, you really did help get me through. And Jordan my gorgeous wee nephew, you provided the baby snuggles everyone was waiting on, so thank you 😉
Thank you all for supporting me, and allowing me to let my body birth this baby by itself despite how long it was, despite the fact my contractions never got very close together. I am so grateful for all of you and the part you played.
